Pictures of the Kids

I can not believe summer has come and gone. We will be sending Miss Molly off to kindergarten in 13 days. Crazy how quickly they grow up. I am not sure who will be more sad, me or Colby! We have had lots of fun this summer and of course I didn't blog at all. I plan on playing catch up, but for now I will share some pictures I snapped with my cell phone of the kids.We think they are the cutest kids on the planet! Molly's hair is soooo long. Trying to decide if I should cut some off or not. I love putting our fun little curlers in it!

And She's Off

Molly learned a couple weeks ago how to ride her bike without training wheels! It was awesome it only took her about 10 minutes to figure it out. This video was the first time she rode with out me running by her to catch her when she was tipping. Also, when I watched this video I realized it looks like she gets hit by the red car at the end. I am happy to report she did not get hit! She is so happy to be able to ride it and has now turned in to a little daredevil. She stands up to peddle, goes really fast, and takes corners a little to sharp. She has been begging to go off the neighbor kids ramp. Too bad she has an over protective mom who wont let her.

Easter 2013

I LOVE Easter! I love that we get to reflect on our Savior and his atonement. I am grateful that we can use the atonement not only for sins, but for our joys, sorrows, and our burdens. Aaron spoke in church on Easter and did a great job. He only had to speak for 5 min, but it was amazing to hear his testimony of his Savior. In the morning we were watching church videos online about the Crucifixion and the resurrection. While watching the crucifixion Colby was looking very concerned and Molly had crocodile tears in her eyes. I was not sure about letting them watch the video but Aaron said it was fine. Next thing I know Molly's tears are flowing and Colby said, "Oh poor poor Jesus." I know that my kids felt the spirit and it was a great spiritual experience for our family and opportunity for us to bare testimony to our children.

The whole weekend was so much fun! It started off with my mom getting to pick up Brayden and Kylah (my niece and nephew that we had custody of for a year) for a couple of days. It has been since September since they have been able to spend time with us. Molly and Colby were so happy to see them. We went to the park and played and had a picnic with them. Brayden was so cute with the kids and such a big helper. He even helped Molly climb to the top of the 30 foot pyramid. No body else could have convinced her to do it.

Saturday morning we went to Payson for the Easter Egg hunt. Brayden and Kylah had to be back in SLC at 12 so they were not able to go to the family party that afternoon. Grandma Page did hide eggs for them though before they had to get back.

 Molly and Colby ready for the hunt!

 Checking out the treasures! 

 Brayden and Kylah at Grandma's egg hunt

It was so much fun to see these kids! I hope their dad will let them come see us more often. They didn't want to leave and I don't blame them.

 All the "little" kids waiting to go find eggs! Notice the biggest kid was the only one one not cooperating! 

Sunday Morning when the kids woke up they were so excited to see if the Easter Bunny hid any eggs for them. They were so excited to come downstairs and check it out. It was so much fun. Molly said it was like Christmas again!

It was a great Easter weekend. Sunday after church we didn't have any plans so we decided to go back to Payson and decorate Hunter's grave for spring. I don't have pictures because we forgot the camera. I am so happy we were able to bury our sweet baby and have a place to go to remember him. Colby still wonders when he will come back to life. We are hoping to have his headstone finalized in the next couple weeks. We hope you all had a good Easter!

Pictures from the Past

 Our little Colby so full of personality!

 Colby is much braver than his sister, he loves bunnies and wants one for a pet!

 Molly on her 5th birthday at Jump on It. She is in the foam pit!

 These pictures are of the kids and their "stack" of pancakes. Their Grandma and Grandpa Goodrich have moved out of state and Grandma Goodrich writes a newsletter every week to the grand kids. She asked them all to send her a picture of them eating a stack of pancakes. I cheated and took them to IHop for free pancakes on National Pancake day! 

 Digging in YUM!

 Devouring them! Grandma then posted each kids picture in the newsletter, so we got to see all the kids eating pancakes! 

I was going through some pictures and decided I would post a few each week! I have missed out on blogging a lot of things and so instead of catching up I will just post some random pictures of our cute little monkeys! We love them to the moon and back!

Why My Mommy Lies

 A friend of mine found this poem and shared it with me. She has been such a great friend to me and has let me cry to her and talk to her as much as I want about our baby. She is often with me when people ask me how I am doing, and she hears me tell them I am fine, or that we are doing okay. She knows I am lying and this is why she shared the poem with me. 

It is that dreaded time that I should be having the baby. It feels like I am reliving the nightmare all over again. The emotions have surfaced. All of them, the sadness, the disappointment, anger, jealousy, depression, etc. 

However, I am also grateful that I can look at this trial as a blessing. I feel closer to my Savior now than ever before. My husband and I are able to feel His hand in our lives and I feel like I have become a better wife, mother, and friend. I have more patience. I am grateful for the things I have learned and feel truly blessed to have been blessed to be the mother of such a perfect baby. It makes me want to work that much harder to do what I need to do to be with my family forever. 

Ask My Mom How She Is 
 My Mom, she tells a lot of lies  
She never did before  
But from now until she dies  
She'll tell a whole lot more  
Ask My mom how she is  
And because she cant explain  
She will tell a little lie  
Because she cant describe the pain 
  Ask My Mom how she is  
She'll say 'I'm Alright'  
If that's the truth then tell me  
Why does she cry each night?  
Ask My Mom how she is 
  She seems to cope so well  
She didn't have a choice you see  
Nor the strength to yell 
  Ask My Mom how she is  
'I'm fine. I'm well, I'm coping'  
For heavens sake Mom, just tell the truth  
Just say your heart is broken  
She'll love me all her life  
I loved her all mine  
But if you ask her how she is  
She'll lie and say she's fine 
  I am here in Heaven  
I cannot hug from here  
If she lies to you don't listen  
Hug her and hold her near  
On the day we meet again 
We'll smile and I'll be bold I'll say, ' You're lucky to get in here Mom,  
With all the lies you told!'

Molly performing for Aaron's work!

Colby performing for Aaron's work!

And so it continues....

I don't want to sound negative all the time and in fact I have been doing pretty well this last month with the loss of our baby. Aaron has done a great job at keeping me busy but also supporting my feelings and helping me deal with them. In January we celebrated Molly's 5 Birthday and our 6th anniversary, and they were both perfect!  However, the last couple days, (and I am sure the next few weeks to come) I have been struggling. The time is nearing when I should be having the baby and it is getting really hard. I feel like I am reliving the nightmare all over again. It is really hard for me to be around or see pregnant women and babies. I am happy for them but I get an overwhelming feeling of hate and anger come over me and I know better than to be hateful. I really am happy for all my friends, because I fully understand the miracle of bringing children into this world I guess I am just jealous. I honestly don't know if we will ever be blessed again to have another child, though our arms are literally aching for more. To top it off (and what I think got me in this mood) for the last 2 days I have received this in the mail and it is like pouring salt in the gaping wound.

I got rid of this as quickly as it came in, but I can't bring myself to check the mail anymore. Who sends out my info to get this stuff anyways, hospital, doctors, insurance? I don't know but really? I never got this stuff when I delivered healthy living children so why now? Not to mention all the other coupons and things we are getting in the mail for a baby. Sigh

Anniversary

6 Years

Yesterday Aaron and I celebrated 6 years together! It was the perfect weekend together but my most favorite tradition we do on our anniversary is doing sealings in the LDS temples. It is a great way for us to reflect on our sealing and remember those sacred covenants we have made together. I love being married to my best friend. He is a great dad, and husband. He is my rock and I love him more now then I ever thought possible. We have experienced a lot of things together in the last 6 years and we look forward to spending forever together! 

Hightlights:

3 children together

finished school

bought our first house

many trips together

bought a VAN

experienced loosing loved ones

took care of my niece and nephew for 1 year

served in various callings (Aaron's now the executive secretary, and I on RS meeting committee)

I am excited to see what life has in store for us as we continue our life together! No matter the joys, or challenges of life I am glad I get to experience them with Aaron! He really is the best! He is also getting a lot more creative and thoughtful in the gift giving department. He told me year six is the year for Iron and sweets so he bought me a rod iron plant holder, and chocolate covered cinnamon bears! I got him a CTR ring!